The Right Words


A young man showed up a little early for his date. When his girlfriend answered the door, her hair was teased in a hundred different directions. To take the awkwardness out of the situation, she asked, “What do you think of my hair?” The boy hesitated and then said, “It looks like it’s about to become something wonderful!”

WOW! That young man took a page right out of Gary Chapman’s book, The 5 Love Languages.  He used the love language Dr. Chapman calls “Words of Affirmation.” Did you know that the word affirmation comes from the root of a Latin word which means, “to strengthen”?  I love that! When we use words of affirmation, we are really giving that person strength. To affirm someone is to declare something positively or firmly about them; to support or uphold the validity of a person; to confirm them. 

Gary Chapman believes that, like a car, we all have an internal fuel tank. The fuel tank that is inside of you is either empty, full or somewhere in-between. Of course, our fuel tank isn’t some physical thing, it is our soul, our spirit. And if your tank is near empty, then you know how hard getting out of bed can be sometimes. But if your tank is nearly full, well, that is a whole different feeling. 

Look around you and you can tell who has a tank that is nearly full. There is life in that person. You can see it in their eyes! You can also tell when someone is running on empty. Their eyes are glazed over. You can see it by the way they walk; you can hear it in their voice. And since more often than not, when a person’s tank is nearly empty, they need someone to help them get back to full! That someone is you, it’s me. 

One way we can fill another’s tank is by using those words of affirmation. Every day we speak about 15,000-20,000 words. The way we use these words matter:  we can either be tank-fillers or we can be the reason why someone is running on empty. The God of Love, who through His spoken word created us, invites us to use our own words to fill someone’s tank!

Breathe Peace

Marty Signature BROWN


Want to know more about the 5 Love Languages? Take the 5 Love Languages® official assessment to discover your love language and begin improving your relationships. Your love language profile will explain your primary love language, what it means, and how you can use it to connect to others. To take the survey, visit:

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